Being annoyed by (indeed, noticing) hipsters is participating in hipsterism.
OK, so hipsters fetishize childhood -- theirs in particular, which is why the 80s are all of a sudden this period of aesthetic revolution -- we know this and so f@#king what.
False dawn of the grunge era: 'the end of history.' As usual, Hitchens has it (from a talk with Andrew Sullivan):
A: The last four years, or five years – the last ten years, I could say, more generally – to any believing Christian, observant Christian, like myself, have been a sort of reading period in the dangers of religion. I don’t think in my lifetime this has ever been clearer, to any observer, in world history, for a very long time, how dangerous this is. When was the last time we had this kind of religious terror?
H: We’re not now speaking just of Christianity’s fanatics.
A: No, we’re not, we’re talking about Islam.
H: Just when people had begun to think that the age of totalitarian ideology had gone, the idea of the one leader, the one supreme…
A: The one truth.
H: …the one truth, the one party – just when one thought one had left that all behind…
A: It comes back like Glenn Close out of the bathtub.
H: I once did a calculation: I was in Romania in 1989 and in Hungary, at the end of communism. I saw the end of Ceausescu. I thought, Alright, that’s it, in Europe anyway – but it seemed globally – the idea of the absolute leader, the absolute party, the undisputable truth is over. And maybe our future will be a little bit banal. I remember reading the Fukuyama stuff and thinking, probably true, but a little tedious.
A: I could live with it. I could absolutely live with it.
H: How bad is the idea of, you know, essentially a market economy and essentially a political pluralism? You know, as someone who had once had utopian opinions…I didn’t feel pumped up by it but I thought, hmm, doable. And people talked about at that stage, the peace dividend – remember that expression?
A: I do.
H: Now think of all the money we’ve been spending on the Cold War, we don’t have to spend it anymore, on the weaponry. Think, furthermore, which we now can, on the better uses for it; the long neglected crisis in Africa, the problem of AIDS, the general problem of poverty and degradation and of failure of other societies to have caught up with whatever we want to call it. The market-pluralist model, at a minimum. We have all these chances now!
That, I calculated once, I don’t remember how many days it went on, but I think it was 120 days of this illusion. Not very long before Slobodan Milosevic invaded Bosnia – we’d overlooked this little dictator in the Balkans – and Saddam Hussein abolished the existence of Kuwait; not invaded it, as some people say, but annexed it and said, a member state of the United Nations, of the Arab League and the Islamic Conference no longer exists, it belongs to me personally, and my crime family. Ah, how interesting!
You were a child in the 80s, therefore the 80s were (are) childhood, so the forces that took them away from you (90s pop; Muslims; partisan politics; your parents getting divorced) have to be kept at bay by the forces that take you back to your blessed 80s, to childhood (comic books; leader worship; hair product or pointedly not using it; Wall Street as apolitical hero/villain; dandy moralizing nouveau; pretending to like football to impress someone you want to 'smooch'; fake plastic things designed to look like real things; cell phones as status objects; synth pop).
Your personal history breaks across a Bad Thing. 9/11, getting molested, Pearl Harbor, Kennedy dying, the family splitting up, Challenger exploding.
You're two halves and spend your life trying to force your hated grown self to innocence. Well well well well well: innocence isn't real, and growing is the best thing in life. Innocence just means 'not yet.' Thank god you can't go back.