Everyone like me seems to have a crush on Tina Fey, but I don't. I get why they do, she's swell, but I don't share the feeling. I think reading Bossypants has helped me figure out why:
1) I never saw her on Weekend Update, which was apparently a Thing for male writer-nerds.
2) Her style of comedy mixes this slight didacticism that's so constant, and pitched just above comfortable frequency levels, that you want to say it's semi- or unconscious...but how could anything about this serious craftsman's craft be semi- or un- at this point? Her ironies are just a little more defensive and uncomfortable-with-self than I'm used to. That makes for nervy comedy (though 30 Rock is hit-and-miss, at best, in its topical seriousness) but over a couple hundred print pages it starts to sit badly. With me, I mean. Probably lots of people will eat this book up. I liked it. I liked reading it. I like Tina Fey well enough. I like her the way I liked the girls with good grades when I was in sixth grade and had the best grades, or thought I deserved to have the best grades because I was smartest (I'd heard) but I didn't work as hard as the girls, so they'd get 98's and I'd either get 100's or (when I didn't care) 88's. I like Tina Fey in a resentful way, or resent her affectionately; she makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong. Either way I don't have a crush. I wonder what I'm doing wrong.
Some people break rules because they want you to notice the rules. Some people do it because they want you to notice them. I think maybe I'm not sure what kind of person Tina Fey is, but the idea I have is that I want to think she's the same as me, and she's the kind of person I think I am, but I'm not actually that guy, I'm the other guy, and my jittery handwavy self-consciousness is that other kind, the kind that if I ever admit to myself that's my thing I'll look in the mirror and just be like, 'You asshole!'
On the other hand maybe you do the right thing thinking you've got the right reason but you've got the 'wrong' one, but by acknowledging it it becomes right, in a way? See? And this sanitizes you and makes you OK for the world, and you go about your day making the world a touch more OK. On the other other hand, Tina Fey says that Lorne Michaels says that The show doesn’t go on because it’s ready; it goes on because it’s 11:30. So then would I ever have had the whole self-accusatory moment in the mirror if I hadn't been checking to see whether I was Ready for My Closeup or whatever?
It's a library checkout, not a buy. So there you go.
Does making a fool of yourself count as making something of yourself? Hi?