Arthur Silber is apparently dying.
By choice.
I don't know him, nor am I certain I'd want to know him more closely as he is now; he's angry and disappointed all the time, hates America with remarkable consistency, and his interests seem not to be my own. He apparently sang or did theatre in a past life. He has several cats. He quite likes Angels in America. He used to be a Randroid but has moved into a more interesting political/economic philosophy in the last several years.
And.
My sincere thanks to all who have made donations. I have just enough to pay February rent, with a little bit left over. Since it's just a little bit more than the rent, once I'm able to function even slightly better, I'll be selling my books, CDs and DVDs to a secondhand dealer I've dealt with in the past. I won't get much money for them, since I don't have much of anything now, but it's better than nothing. And I'll need it. I'm sorry that people have recently purchased some items from my [Amazon] Wishlist. I'll try to listen to and/or watch the items people have so kindly sent me before they're all sold. I've deleted the link to the Wishlist, and I don't expect to restore it.
Silber doesn't get proper medical attention or welfare money, by his own account, because he's a 'conscientious objector' to the American political/economic system. (The precise meaning there shouldn't be difficult to figure out.) So if his hints of autobiography are to be believed, he's dying, poor and alone save for his goddamn pets, without even a properly-working computer with which to beg.
I don't want to keep typing things like 'by his own account' and 'if you believe him.' I hate the too-sensitive defenses I've built up over the years, which lead me to second-guess the man's accounts of his problems. But I've emailed Silber a few times, trying however ham-fistedly to be helpful (e.g. talking about work-from-home possibilities), and he's never gotten back to me. He's not obligated to do so, of course, nor to care how I feel. But the motherfucker lives off charity and is at the end of his rope - why not write back? He certainly has time to write long goddamn blog posts consisting mainly of quotes of older long goddamn blog posts - why not take advantage of a correspondent? Why would anyone want to die? If he's on his way out, why not straightforwardly talk about his health problems? Is that 'undignified'? What's less dignified than dying when you don't have to, for Christ's sake?
I want to beat the man silly for hating so many things, for being such a condescending prick, for refusing to live in this world while complaining about it. But I also want him to get healthier and happier. I don't want to extend his life - I want to improve it.
If you have any suggestions (other than 'Get over yourself' - I know, I know), or know anything about the guy, or know someone who knows him personally, could you let me know? And if you have ten dollars to spare, consider sending them his way. I'm not saying you necessarily should - but you should think about it, should have thought about it, come through it.
I wish I knew what to do, I wish knowing and caring were a little more lined up.
